At the current moment I am working on a few different post ideas that you will all undoubtedly make you feel the shock and awe that can only be comparable to the first time you touched a boob, but they are works in progress for now; therefore in order to keep things fresh I have another idea for the time being. I've noticed that often times when I'm sitting at work one of my friends has a question that they feel only I can answer. Occasionally I even have questions for them but that's not usually anything of substance, more often than not I'm just inquiring about "what exactly the menstrual cycle is" or "why can't dogs vote?" and various other things of that nature. I'll have you know that my future legal counsel Mark "The Domination of Litigation" Swantek and I are already working on a grassroots campaign for household pet suffrage that will one day extend voting rights to the dogs and cats of America, however I digress. Like I was saying before, I get asked a lot of questions throughout my day by both SBB lovers and haters alike (let's be honest, nobody hates the blog, but some people are just generally haters, so the distinction had to be made), and I figured I should spend some time addressing them outside of a normal gchat IM, understanding that when someone asks a question there are usually 3 other people out there wondering the same thing. That being said, perhaps my thousands upon thousands of readers will remember that back a few months ago I opened up the blog to a Q&A session and I found it to be a great success, and since its been a while since I dropped some serious knowledge on you bitches, and at the urging of a friend named Griffin, I am about to do it again.
So this is it; I am inviting you to pick my brain. If you can muster up the courage this will be another priceless opportunity to ask me whatever you feel like asking. You'll be able to look back on this opportunity and in a few years when you bring up my name in a conversation you will undoubtedly be interrupted by someone saying "Joe Caminiti, that guy was a goddamn visionary", and you will have to nod in agreement. I will answer any question within reason, all you have to do is post your question in the comment field. Simple enough? I hope so.
I don't have any parting words for you. Goodbye my loves
SBB
Hey SBB,
ReplyDeleteLong time follower, first time poster.
As the winter olympics unfold, and I am helplessly exposed to the "Men's" figure skating, I have noticed that the Asian figure skater's just don't look as gay as the white "dudes." I think this is because all Asians look a little gay to me. Am I racist, or is this something you have noticed too?
Who is the hood-est player in the nba/ncaa right now?
ReplyDeleteDear SBB --
ReplyDeleteBig, BIG fan. And i am pleased with this opportunity to pick the mind of a man of your stature.
Question...
What do you think is a more powerful indicator of the rebel attitude and lifestyle... Rockin a flowing, waterfall-esque mullet (and I'm not talking about your Barry Melrose hockey mullet. I'm talking about your hardcare, "I would love some extra mayonnaise", Mississippi Mudflap/Tennessee Tophat type mullet.) or displaying a full, thick, healthy mane of chest hair at all times?
SBB,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this incredible opportunity. I'd like to get your opinion on something that has been on my mind for quite a while now.
Johnny "Mox" Moxon, back-up quarterback for the West Canaan High School football team, finally goes up against and takes complete control of the team from his coach and local legend Bud Kilmer during halftime of what will inevitably be Coach Kilmer's 23rd district championship. Totally bogus move or impressive conclusion to an on-going season long power struggle?
Excited to her your response.
-- Deakon
i have a couple questions, they shall appear in a series as follows:
ReplyDeleteWhy won't outrageously hot women have sex with me?
ReplyDeletewhy am i constantly itchy in places other than my groin, such as my eyes, nose, head, and butt?
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking about a possible connection between one's father's mood/temperament around the time he produced impregnating sperm and the personality development of the offspring. Do you think sperms have moods that affect the person they become?
ReplyDeleteThere was recently a private invite only meeting called the World Economic Forum which combines the ultra rich business elite with the ultra powerful to discuss ways to further the economy. Don't you feel that blurring the lines between business and politics, especially in an unofficial, undocumented fashion, is highly dangerous and unsettling? How do you feel that the self-motivated capitalist dynamics of big-industry and banking can exist within a political or governmental ideology, supposedly representative of a constituency? Is this oligarchy of power taking over the world in front of our eyes, rendering our thoughts, wants, opinions, votes, needs, etc. completely irrelevant?
ReplyDeleteTo whom it may concern:
ReplyDeleteMy problem concerns my genitals. Upon reading your blog, I have come to the realization that you may be the best resource available to give me a direct answer to my concerns, as your expertise on genitalia has been on display throughout various blog posts.
In plain English, I have severely large testicles. Accordingly, I would consider the size of my penis to be quite average. My concern is that the proverbial big potatoes are making the steak look small, which may or may not be fair. In all honesty, the "steak" isnt the largest to begin with, but I can't help but worry that the size of my aformetioned testicles are bringing upon shame to said average-sized penis.
Plain and simple, I feel that my penis is being short-changed. What do I do? Am I a monster?
Which "Throw Some D's" is better: Rich Boy's original or Kanye's remix?
ReplyDeleteAdditionally, I have another question concerning poop, as I am more than certain that you are some type of czar concerning anything that has to do with fecal matter.
ReplyDeleteHypothetical situation: Poop comes out of my nose. Don't ask how or why.
Hypothetical question: What do I use to clean it???
Tissue or Kleenex??? (it IS in fact coming from my nose, and the softness can be quite smooth and cleansing upon the face)???
Or toilet paper (you ARE dealing with poop after all, and toilet papers purpose is to deal with poop, on butts and elsewhere).
Any insight would be greatly appreciated.
I'd like to add an appendix to the previous question.
ReplyDeleteRegardless of which wiping mechanism you choose, how do you dispose of it? Sometimes when one wipes his butt with kleenex he flushes it down the toilet, but blowing you nose with toilet paper could quite reasonably end up in the trash. So, poop-paper goes....?
Is it ok to want to kiss a male celebrity because you're just "that big of a fan?"
ReplyDeleteDear SBB,
ReplyDeleteA friend of mine has a problem. Her boyfriend used to live in a house with 6 other roommates. They were together for a pretty long time. One of the roommates, however, repeatedly sexually harassed her, and even exposed themself to her multiple times. The problem is...she kind of liked it. What should I, I mean my friend, do?
Molested in Milwaukee