Just another WTF moment from Lady Gaga

When I began writing SBB I never really intended to write solely on any particular subject, pop culture included. Instead I began this blog with the intention of imparting a few tidbits of wisdom and providing a commentary on observations and things that cross my mind, for instance, does the inside of a nose have a smell, and what does squirrel poop look like? I say that I try not to blog too much about pop culture because there's already far too many out there that will be talking about the same things, and every idea just ends up being recycled and distributed in different packaging. Regardless, I felt compelled to give my two cents on the spectacle that was last night's Grammy's, and by that I mean Lady Gaga.

First of all, it became quite clear that word of SBB has reached the ears of Hollywood, because every time the camera shot to my aforementioned dream girl Katy Perry, her doucher-of-the-month fiance Russell Brand had his arm wrapped so tight around her I was getting scared her magnificent dual chest cannons were going to pop. At least Russell knows what he's dealing with now, but let me remind you that my style is impetuous and I'm gunning for you.

Like I said before, I can't exactly write a blog about this year's Grammys without giving at least some attention to the glitter filled buttfuck that is Lady Gaga. The first 15 minutes of the awards ceremony left me extremely confused and yet strangely intrigued, and not necessarily in a good way. I understand her desperate need for attention now that she's famous, because it has become fairly evident that until about 12 months ago she was just another girl who was unfortunately born with a face that looks strangely similar to a German Shepard's shaved asshole. The performance itself looked like an odd attempt to mix Moulin Rouge and The Bride of Frankenstein, and eventually proved that the only way to make Elton John appear less gay is to put him just feet away from Lady Gaga's donut sprinkle covered face. She was pumping an egregious amount of vagina flesh for network television, especially to an event where a majority of the people in attendance are wearing tuxedos. Afterwards the camera showed her in her post performance outfit, which is essentially what I imagine a modern day Judy Jetson would look like after one too many hits of acid. In addition, Lady Gaga must have wanted people to think she won the final challenge on Nickelodeon's Guts, because I'm pretty sure she had a glowing piece of the Agro-Crag adorned atop her head. When it was all over I really only had one thought going through my head; I now know what it must feel like to have a unicorn blow its load all over my face.

Now I don't want everyone to think that I hate Lady Gaga, I'm just extremely confused by her. I guess what I really don't understand is why she feels compelled to be so incredibly outlandish all the time. I get it, shes an entertainer, but her medium is music, and I doubt her music would sound any different if she occasionally woke up in the morning and decided to put on a pair of pants instead of treating every day like its her own crystal meth-induced Halloween party.

I also understand that she's now a individual who's incredibly famous, and in order to maintain that status nowadays its easier to just get yourself talked about instead of actually creating something of substance. If you can't get yourself recognized your fame will inevitably disappear into the night with the inconspicuous silence of a kitten fart. That's fine I guess, do your thing and try your best to squeeze some cash out of your fame while you have it. What really irks me isn't the fact that Gaga runs around looking like something straight out of my nightmares, its the people that shower her with praise for her originality. If what shes doing today inspires every teenage girl start dressing like a hooker from the year 2059 then I'll give credit where credit is due, but as for right now just wearing bejewled panties and singing about how you're bluffin' with your muffin falls a little bit short. There's no denying the fact that she has some talent as an entertainer, but people make her out to be the second coming of David Bowie, and what these uberfans don't realize is that they're really just bastardizing the idea of originality. In reality, the deliberate quest to stand out and be original is the probably the most overdone and inherently unoriginal thing can someone can do.

Allow me to put this in a scope that you may be able to associate with a little bit better; its a little like in High School; the ugly kids without any friends decide to start wearing thick black eyeliner and studded belts and told people they were trying to be "different". Being different from everyone else just for the sake of being different doesn't make you original, for the most part it just makes you a fucking weirdo. That's what Lady Gaga is right now: a big fucking weirdo.

No slight to Gaga, she's reached super stardom and shes probably wiping her dirty ass with hundred dollar bills, and good for her. She's made millions by being so strange that it confuses people, and that's kinda cool in my book. Either way, this is where I'm going end this diatribe. Hoped you liked it, and if you didn't then I hope a giant bird shits in your hair later.

Loves Ya Bye Bye