Doing it Bloggy Style

"One morning I woke up and found my favorite pigeon, Julius, had died I was devastated and was gonna use his crate as my stickball bat to honor him. I left the crate on my stoop and went in to get something and I returned to see the sanitation man put the crate into the crusher. I rushed him and caught him flush on the temple with a titanic right hand he was out cold, convulsing on the floor like a infantile retard." - Mike Tyson

Monday, June 21, 2010

I have no words

Honestly I don't even know what to say. My girl KP and her mammary masterpieces have gone and done it again, finally proving to me that it really is OK for grown men to cry. I am not ashamed in any way to admit that "California Gurls" has already been my summer jam for weeks, and I have patiently been waiting for the moment that I can fist pump to it out of the passenger side (no scrubs) window of Pat McHugh's Jeep. I can't tell whether to be completely awed by the video or to be incredibly frightened by it. It obviously encapsulates everything in life that I hold dear, that being KP, her immaculate chest, a fully interactive version of Hasbro's Candyland board game, and my homie Snoop who SBB is both inspired by and dedicated to. But I am also a wee bit scared because the either the video director Matthew Cullen has been able to build some Hot Tub Space Shuttle Machine and fly to an amazing Utopian world where Katy Perry frolicks amongst cotton candy clouds and sprays whipped cream out of her jugs, OR he has figured out how to access my wet dreams while I sleep. I guess neither one really bothers me that much, and on second thought, this man may be a complete genius.

However, maybe he doesn't deserve all the credit, because deep down I'm pretty sure I somehow created this music video with my brain. After all, it is moi who closes his eyes and wishes for a world where this scenario can exist every time I feel scared or lonely.

2 more elements of proof that I may have wished this video into existence with my brain.
       1.) At the 2:12 mark in the vid she steals my favorite go-to Spring Break dance move
       2.) The 3:24 mark is an almost exact depiction of what happened in my pants while I watched this video

Thank you Matthew Cullen,
Thank you perverted childlike brain of mine that seemingly willed this video into existence,
...and most of all...
Thank you Jesus, for it was you who died on a cross so that I may have eternal life & have KP melt my popsicle with her sun kissed skin

Amen
SBB

Post Script: Some gayrod at YouTube won't let me post the embedded video straight to the blog, so I can only provide the link right now, mea culpa

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