I'm so before my time

I feel as though I was a little harsh on ginger clown-face Kathy Griffin in my latest post so I'm going to make up for it by saying a few nice things about someone today, but not Kathy Griffin because she sucks baby turds. So I'm going to say something nice about myself. I'm a fucking genius, it was half a year ago that I was saying how Katy Perry is absolutely gorgeous and how her chest was sculpted with DaVinci-like artistry, in fact it was one of the first things I have ever posted about. Well yesterday Maxim magazine being the dense-skulled slow learners that they are finally decided to go ahead and agree with me by naming her #1 on their annual Hot 100. Obviously you know how I feel about her, but in a strange way I also feel like the fan of a sports team that just won a championship, except with less champagne soaked celebrations and a lot more masturbating. Poor taste? Probably, but oh well.

The Maxim Hot 100 is obviously judged on a superficial basis, doing there best to rank these woman based on a pretty unrealistic standard of female beauty that publications like theirs have not only created but continue to perpetuate. However, I though it was rather interesting that in their explanation of why they chose her for the #1 spot on the list;  

 "Katy Perry is the best friend you suddenly realize you’ve loved your whole life. The rad chick who taught you how to skateboard and whistle and also looks unbelievable in a bikini."  

That's pretty insightful coming from a magazine that junior high boys whack it to. A lot of masturbating talk today, sorry folks (not sorry). Either way I thought this was a decent message being sent to the multitude of females out there with personal body image issues. In a way they were saying that you don't need to be the cheerleader type with long blonde hair, because guys actually will find you attractive if you are individualistic and have spunk like Katy Perry; you are all beautiful in your own special way! I'm just joking, that's totally gay, I hope you didn't think I turned into a Sally there for a minute. Let's not kid ourselves here, I think they nailed it naming her #1 but let's acknowledge that its not because of her girl-next-door look, its because of her bountiful chest. Without her perfect sweater kittens she's probably not in the top 20, but lucky for her when the Lord gave, he kept on giving. What they really should have said in place of their candy-ass explanation, was that if you're not the drop-dead gorgeous blonde then you'd better have an incredible set of tits.

So here she is atop the Maxim Hot 100. Now don't forget Katy, with great breasts comes great responsibility

Keep it sleazy,
SBB