Snoop Bloggy Blogg: We Be Steady Mobbin

As the Blackhawks inch closer and closer to bringing a championship back to Chicago I simply cannot help myself from getting a little excited. Sure I'm really pumped about the fact that the Hawks are playing for the Stanley Cup, but there's a whole other branch of excitement that's stemming from this playoff run. I have already played witness to 6 Bulls NBA championship seasons, and I was in attendance for 2 games of the 2000 Subway Series between the Yankees and the Mets, both incredible experiences for a young sports fan. However I was only a mere child back then, and we know what the best part about being a completely irresponsible young adult when your team brings home the ship; not bragging rights for your hood, not a commemorative ticker-tape parade downtown, not even being able to call yourselves "defending champs" for the whole next season. No, that shit's for the birds my friends, I'm talking about the ability to participate in a full scale riot.

That's what being the fan of a championship allows you to do. You and your fellow fans join together in a display of solidarity and are rewarded for your commitment by chugging beers amongst the masses, tipping over cars, breaking shit, and lighting inanimate objects ablaze. The team and city get a trophy, and you get to run wild through the streets in an whiskey induced hysteria, who could ask for more.

As fucking awesome as it is going to be to run uncontrollably through the city like a crazed banshee without so much as a stern look from fellow rioters, a mob mentality is a double-edged sword or sorts and can certainly have its downsides, often referred to as herd behavior

Herd behavior describes how individuals in a group can act together without planned direction. The term pertains to the behavior of animals in herds, flocks, and schools, and to human conduct during activities such as stock market bubbles and crashes, street demonstrations, sporting events, religious gatherings, episodes of mob violence and even everyday decision making, judgment and opinion forming.

Thanks Wikipedia, I couldn't have said it better myself! Like I said, a mob mentality can definitely have its downsides, but I've never been one to care too much about the victimization of others, except of course when I am the victim in question. So here's an instance where mob mentality is at its worst.

You've already heard me list my transgressions about the mutants of public transportation, but this took instance blew the doors off that mother fucker

A few weeks ago I boarded a northbound redline train on my way to work, and where I get on just happens to be one stop south of an inner city high school and a Chicago City community college. Needless to say, there are more freaks and hoodlums than you can shake a stick at. So as I walk casually into the train car I see a group of about 10 girls throwing a beating into some innocent looking old white woman. I say she was innocent because she was like I said, was an old white woman, effectively making her more unassuming and harmless than a baby dolphin. Apparently the old woman had asked them to please stop yelling while they were on the train, because after all it was 7:30 am, which I guess is grounds for an all out gang beating at the hands of a group of 16 year old girls while their male friends watched and cheered. Did I come to her aide? No sir I did not, because I watch the news and I'm not dummy. People who intervene get their asses beat and their iphones stolen, two things I wanted no part of. Sorry Gertrude (or whatever her old lady name was). Before you start judging me for not throwing myself into a wild pack of angry half-breeds to save some old bag of bones, I will have you know that it seemed like some other ~~stupid schmuck~~ Good Samaritan had it under control because he was ~~getting punched repeatedly in the stomach~~ holding a few girls back while yelling something equally retarded like "Game Over! Game Over! Game Over!" Since apparently the game was over I didn't feel too bad about finding a secluded, gang beating-free seat at the opposite end of the train car. Phew! Really dodged a bullet there.

Not even three days later the same fucking group of jagaloons are on my train car. Understanding a little bit of herd behavior I know that often times people will do things when they're in large groups that they normally wouldn't do on their own (like beating the shit out of that lady from Golden Girls while riding the train), I know to keep a safe distance in order to not send the herd into a craze. Regardless of my efforts to stay away, they make their way over to me as the train pulls into their stop. What happened next was something that I think will leave me confused and angry for the rest of my life. The fat leading female of the group/geezer basher extraordinaire comes up to me with all her minions behind her and proceeds to say "Hello nice white man" while she begins to stroke my chest and stomach with her hand, and then say "You feel like a kitty". What? "Bitchyu betta check yo-self and keep your public school, Section 8 hands off my cashmere sweater before shit gets real"...is what I was thinking in my head. What I actually said was more along the lines of "Stop touching me please", so as to not be a catalyst for another instance of ~~public transportation ass-stompings~~ textbook herd behavior. It truly could have been mob mentality at its worst, people coming together as a group in order to act without any rationale with me as the cashmere clad victim.

But don't fret little bitches, the rest of this post will serve as my testament to how awesome taking part in mob mentality can be. Here is SBB's ode to Mark Swantek and the social phenomenon of herd behavior, and just remember kids, sometimes people do things in groups that they would never do alone...

"Let's see if we can turn this pig roasting spit into a bonfire"